Yogi Wisdom

A while back I posted about attending a workshop with a yoga psychologist named Uma Krishnamurthy. I wrote about her idea that emotions are more contagious than bacteria, but wanted to to summarize the rest of what I learned:

Uma's definition of wisdom is "someone who does not cause suffering for others or themselves." We get attached to our suffering. Are you holding on to a belief or grievance you'd be better off discarding?

There's a "divine consciousness" throbbing within everyone. Yoga helps clear the mind of distractions so you can connect with your own divine consciousness. Try to see the divine in yourself and others.

The American psychologist Abraham Maslow defined enlightenment as transforming your perception from critical to loving.  Try to make this shift next time you find yourself in a stressful situation. (This is a tough one for us mere mortals.)

Happiness is intrinsic. It's a property of our own consciousness.

A soul has no scars

Accept your negative thoughts, but don't analyze them

Taste the juiciness of your own soul. (I'm not quite sure what this one means, but I like the sound of it :)

Try to see the eagle in the egg and the saint in the sinner. 


I hope one of these ideas strikes a chord with you and helps you view today differently.

Closed for Regrowth

I came across this sign on a hike. The spot had seen too much traffic and needed a chance to rejuvenate. 

Don't you think every mom should own one of these signs?

 picketers for self-care

 to pull out and flash like a referee waving a red card in a soccer game

or to put on her bedroom door 

when she really, really needs a moment's peace

a break

a chance to collect herself.

National Parks close certain areas for regrowth in order to preserve the long-term wellness of a place. Sounds like a good idea to me! Remember it's okay to need time for "regrowth." It's okay to cultivate yourself (the definition of cultivate being "to promote or improve the growth of something by labor and attention.") Print out this picture, if you want, as a reminder (or to put on your bedroom door :). You really will have more to give.

Baby Steps

You might think this post is about Em walking. And in fact, it could be. She decided crawling was a bit labor intensive and proceeded to walking after a few short weeks. We call her Stumblina (which is maybe a step up from Drooela Devil.) But this post isn't about Em walking. It's about making changes without getting overwhelmed and giving up.

Have you ever seen the movie What About Bob? My husband keeps a picture of Bill Murray in his wallet, mostly so he can joke about how he keeps a picture of Bill Murray in his wallet. Great actor, great show. One of the leading characters, the therapist Leo Marvin, is the author of Baby Steps, a book he uses to encourage his patient, Bob, to overcome his fears by approaching tasks in small increments. 

I know it's meant to be humorous in the movie, but I can't help but feel like the baby steps concept is utterly profound. I'm constantly tricking myself into accomplishing tasks and goals by breaking them into little steps. Do you ever get so overcome by the enormity of a task that you don't do anything at all? I once complained to a friend that I just couldn't make myself run on the treadmill, to which she responded: "You know, you can walk on a treadmill." Oh. 

So I started walking on the treadmill, and then that turned into running, which turned into a marathon. (Just kidding--even the concept of a 10k terrifies me). On mornings when I felt particularly unmotivated I'd tell myself, "Just put your running shoes on. Just walk for a few minutes." Getting started was the hardest part, but once that was behind me, I'd usually end up running for a decent stretch of time. 

On days when tackling the laundry seems daunting, I do a single load instead. Eating three healthy, well-proportioned meals a day feels impossible, but I can at least manage a healthy breakfast (most days...) I can unload the dishwasher, even if I don't have time to clean the whole kitchen. My husband and I can make time for a monthly date night, since a weekly date isn't feasible right now. I can call one friend I've been neglecting, and revive my interest in a hobby I've put on the back burner. Of course I can't do all of those things all at once. But every now and then, I can slip in something that will improve my life and increase my sense of accomplishment.

The hardest part is giving yourself credit for what you've accomplished. I once heard the idea of making a "done" list instead of always a "to-do" list. It's empowering to pause and recognize all that you've achieved. Earlier today I started feeling like I'd had an entirely unproductive Saturday, so I made myself create a mental list of everything I'd done. And it was more than I realized.

A few months back I came across a wonderful article, "10 Tips to Change Yourself from a Dedicated Couch-Potato to a Gym Enthusiast" by Gretchen Rubin. One of the strategies is: "Any work-out 'counts.' Give yourself credit for the least effort." This can apply to anything, not just physical fitness. Give yourself credit for having a desire to be healthier, even if it takes a while for that desire to transform into action.

Another challenge is having compassion on yourself when you don't accomplish your goals--even the small, should-be-manageable ones. The trick is not allowing yourself to become discouraged to the point that you give up altogether. Just try again. Always try again.

Embrace the Will of the Moment

This is one of the shiniest gold nuggets of wisdom I received from my counselor. We all have our own agendas ("Everyone has their own idiot agenda" -Walk Two Moons), and if you're like me, it's maddening when something--or someone--throws a kink in your plans. But that's kind of the definition of children. Kink-throwers. Adorable, sweet, messy kink-throwers. Why is it that Em poops every time I'm in a hurry to get out the door? Why, when I desperately need a few minutes of downtime, does she have a meltdown? I really don't know, except that perhaps there is some credence to Murphy's Law (the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train).

Em's will in this moment was to be nursed in the great outdoors

One way to deal with frustrating circumstances is to surrender to the will of the moment. Let go of your plans (unclench one white knuckle at a time), and go where the moment takes you. Most things can wait. I didn't realize what a control freak I was until I became the mother of a little creature that, try as I might, I cannot control. Em still hasn't caught on to the schedule I've been trying to impose upon her for months--I'm beginning to think my consistency has been wasted on her. I should probably just relax (is that word even in the dictionary of a first-time mom?) The important thing is, I'm attempting. So the next time your child (or friend, or boss, or spouse) needs you at an inopportune time, try to let go of what you want, and embrace the will of the moment.

Disclaimer:
At certain times, cuddling up with the moment's will just isn't possible. Such as when you're:
1. In the shower. Though your babe's howl may sound like the end of the world is imminent, even new mamas deserve to rinse out their conditioner.
2. In the middle of cooking dinner--those boiling noodles can be as demanding as any squalling baby.
3. Naked/getting dressed. (Though I must admit there are times when I only get my underwear on before attending to Em's clamorous cries).